Anxiety & How I Overcome It

Anxiety

 I asked you ladies what you wanted more of, I felt the vibe around social lately and I KNEW this was needed. It's like I didn't even have to ask to know we all need trusted ways to cope with the ups and downs of life.

As always I'm your girl. I want to tell you like it is in hopes that my shares, my diving deep and releasing what has worked for me will in some way help you overcome and reach your true potential. Loving yourself and your life and being MORE, YOU {the best version you can be}.

I have always been open about my incredibly emotional demeanor. Commercials can make me cry at the drop of a hat, words, pictures, visuals...I'm a mess. For most of my life I chalked this up to being a super "feely" person, I chalked this up to a good thing. Not until I stepped foot in a therapists office that I trusted did I begin to look internally and realize there were parts of being emotional that are incredible & there were parts I really needed to work on.

Parts like replaying my words, my friends words, situations, experiences in my mind over and over again. Parts like not allowing to let things go or cope with situations because I was grasping them so tightly spiraling myself. Parts like internalizing, thinking I'm the problem. Parts like very real fears, thoughts of stress and worry out of nowhere.

Not until the last few months did I really feel ready to write this post, but I know in my heart that sharing my struggles with anxiety and how I have overcome will help so many. 

My anxiety would show its face in many different ways like stress over conversations had, stress over peoples safety, stress over my own safety, anxiety over being in control or out of control. Deep-rooted fears in the safety of myself and my loved ones.

I never knew these every day, sometimes multiple times per day, worries were a problem until one day I was in a convenience store in the middle of the day {Chris was waiting in the car}, I was standing in line to check out & I began to look around. I realized that I was standing in a convenience store surrounded by men most seemingly fine people but two who gave me a vibe that didn't feel right. Something about their mannerisms, their seemingly drunken mannerisms made me shudder a bit.

My mind flashed to a thing I don't even want to type here happening to me and they played out in my mind on a loop. I counted down the seconds breathing deeply until I paid and briskly walked out the door.

I made my way to the car a little flustered but not thinking much of it. I told Chris the situation and he said back to me... "That's not ok, you shouldn't be feeling this way".

I chalked it up to being a woman, in a store surrounded by men some under the influence and feeling a little uneasy.

Then a few days later I'm driving to a meeting for BL & I pass an oil truck with its flashers on pulled to the side of the road, I slow down and as my car slowed my mind again went to a fearful thought that I can't bring myself to type here. A thought that FINALLY woke me up to how not normal these thoughts truly were. To how anxious and fearful I had been living my life constantly chalking it up to it being "fine"! 

I immediately took action and brought these feelings up with my therapist. These feelings I have since learned and continue to learn more about as I learn more about myself are from a sense of feeling out of control. How many times ladies have we all felt out of control and tried to grasp anything and everything we can to bring the train back onto the rails...🙋🏼  GUILTY!

My want to try and control and my fear of not being in control aka crafting up these worrisome fearstories in my head stem so deeply from a place of wanting to be in control in a time that I couldn't. CHILDHOOD.

I feel like I could write a whole other post on childhood and all the lessons we need to take from it but I will save that! What I want to share from this is these thoughts or feelings you're having aren't coming from nowhere, they're caused by an unease somewhere in your life.

If you're having these thoughts know you aren't alone, know anxiety is a real emotion that can be coped with. Know you don't have to work through it alone feeling crazy, weird, less than.

Know that there are ways to calm it, ease it & even make it a RARE occurrence in your life...I hope you take these tools and use the ones that feel the best for you because love, you've got one life & we don't have time to waste in being anxious!!!

Anxiety & Coping

 

1. Reaffirm my fear thoughts {anxieties} are an illusion:

They're an illusion of my old stuff peaking through. They're a made-up construct that I'm giving life to, they're a loop that I consciously keep playing in my head over and over again. I always have the choice to choose a different thought & bring the dark into the light. It is when we bring the crazy thoughts out of our brain and share it with someone or ourself {see #4} that It begins to feel less real. Bring the dark into the light & the scary monster will begin to look like a mouse.

2. Remind myself I am safe

This one has been so helpful when in an anxiety spiral, truly hugging myself and reminding myself in my head, You are safe, you are loved, you are supported. Write a list of affirmations in your phone in your notes and pull it out and say your mantra over and over again breathing slowly.

3. Stop, Drop & Breathe {mini-meditation}

If you're a long time BL babe you know this one is my go to. No matter where you are, no matter who you're with, no matter what you're doin'. BABE the car is truly the best place so don't fret if you're out somewhere weird and something makes you feel off. This form of mini meditation can be done in 5 breaths. Here you go. 1. take a deep breath in through your nose, picture the situation, anxiety, etc. that's worrying you. 2. Breathe out through your mouth. 3. Keep this slow breathing going & begin to picture the person, anxiety, etc. as a warm loving light, picture their face, picture a positive thought. 3. Continue taking a few deep breaths. 4. SHAKE IT OFF & keep goin.

4.  Talk it out {outloud} to myself or another

Therapy was the best thing I ever did for my personal well-being. Allowing myself to share my fears, worries, struggles to an unbiased person was everything. Ladies not one soul here is "too good" for therapy. I thought this for a long time & I mean long. I thought that if I'm the coach I can't be being coached. W R O N G. There's nothing more wrong than this statement. If you are the coach, teacher, mother, superwomen you need someone else helping you walk through this life. Helping you navigate your emotions, feelings, at times. I say this bluntly as NEED because I think it should be a necessity. We all have things. We all have a story, whether we want to admit it or not. We all have things we're holding on to, think we've worked through or just flat out are still angry about. Therapy is the chance to talk. DO it. <3

I hope these few tools that have helped me resonate with you. I want to leave you with a quote I heard from someone dear to me recently. "Take what you want and leave all the rest"...I hope one nugget of this post lights a fire under you butt to take a peek at some of the struggles happening for you, take the first step if you are someone with anxiety & know you aren't alone.

Thank you for being kind and allowing me to share part of my story with anxiety, I hope to connect with so many more of you on this topic. 

love you lots.

xo,

Lauren